thats-slightly-raven: I’m watching Hell’s Kitchen and I can’t stop laughing because Gordon Ramsay just called this girl a fucking biscuit then threw a piece of salmon at her and for the past 7 minutes she’s just been stood there looking at him like this
kalories: i’ve had tumblr for years and i still don’t know what the fuck an rss feed is
I wouldn't be afraid of spiders if I could just...
Me: Oh, hey whoa, this shower is occupied.
Spider: Omg man I didn't see you there.
Me: We cool?
Spider: Yeah, yeah, we're cool. I'm just coming down to scope out the tub.
Me: Oh, that's legit. Hey, you might wanna move over some--you're descending right into the shower stream and I don't want you to drown.
Spider: Hey thanks, bud. I'll be careful.
Me: So...can I get out now?
Spider: Sure, sure! Sorry I'll just move over here.
Me: Thanks. You have a nice night. Don't come into my bedroom, okay?
Spider: Nah, that's your space. We're cool. Have a great evening.
We all have that one friend who has been living...
Reblog if you think no one has a crush on you.
i wonder if anybody’s actually had feelings for me, like actually got upset or mad over little things i did and got jealous and confused over me and thought about me on a regular basis. i feel like i’m the only person that ever really cares about anyone and that nobody’s ever felt that way for me.
sleepingwithsirens0n: today in yearbook this guy AJ was being really rude and disruptive so my teacher told him to act ladylike. instead of doing his usually disruptive stuff, every 30 seconds he would yell out “MY BOOBS HURT” “I NEED A MAN” “IF YOU CANT HANDLE ME AT MY BEST YOU SURE AS HELL DONT DESERVE ME AT MY WORST” “I CANT DRIVE” “WHY DOES NOBODY LOVE ME”
edwad: long distance relationships aren’t so bad if ur dick is long enough 2 reach ur girl hahaha swag
Me every night: I can have exactly 7 hours 23 minutes and 48 seconds of sleep if I fall asleep right now.
coolscar: teach me how to snuggie